“I can’t find the time!” This is the most common reason I hear for being unable to practise self-care.
Motherhood and ‘Me’ time
I’m sure if you are a mother you may have scoffed seeing motherhood and me time in the same sentence. I felt it was the biggest shock how quickly me time vanishes with parenthood.
Those wonderful hours you spend reading alone, pottering around, spending hours getting ready to go out with your makeup, numerous outfit changes and loud music playing, just disappear overnight.
Here’s a rebellious idea: self-care is not about making the time. It is about understanding that you need this time, you are worthy of this time and to make it a priority.
When we accept and value ourselves, it’s so much easier to then take care and find moments that help us feel calm, happier, more adjusted and connected with ourselves to make time for self-care activities.
Difference between self-care and self-care activities?
Self-care considers your mindset and current level of self-acceptance. If you can progress to acceptance, you will automatically prioritise your needs and create boundaries within your family to take the time you need.
Self-care activities are what you do that creates joy and happiness. This could be a feeling of pampering, talking a long walk or cooking something delicious to eat. These activities are as individual as people are.
Learn to recognise when self-care is needed
If our cups are not full, how can we give to others?
How can we make a difference to the people around us without neglecting ourselves?
You may feel tired, overwhelmed, unmotivated, and undesirable.
This is when to find that valuable time, even five minutes to take some deep breaths, reassure yourself and decide in that moment what you need.
How do I know what I need?
- When was the last time you belly laughed?
- What do you do for fun?
- Activities you enjoy that are just being, with no desired outcome.
- What makes you happy when you are on your own?
What are the things that help you feel calm, more centred, and more connected?When I say centred, it means a wholesome feeling around yourself.
This is simple stuff, perhaps pottering around, tidying something up or sorting through some books, jewellery or clothing. Or consider an activity that you get lost in e.g.gardening, dancing, drawing etc.
There are also more time consuming activities, for example meeting friends, walking your dog or visiting a spa etc.
What makes you happy?