How can I see myself more realistically?

Tiffany Varpalotai
Written by Tiffany Varpalotai

A classic low self-confidence and Impostor Syndrome related issue is that we are unable look at ourselves realistically.

To be fair when we are in this mindset, we tend to see other people’s performance as being way better and our own as way worse, than it is actually.

This is because we like to think that other people are getting there by their hard work and will-power, but in the meantime we are completely ignoring all the hard work we’ve put in.

First, we forget about all the time, effort, and money we have invested into our studies. Think about all the courses, all the school lessons, the university, the workshops, etc that you’ve taken.

How many hours did you spend learning everything you need to reach your goals?
How much money did you spend?
How much effort have you invested?

And after absorbing all this knowledge, you’ve probably also invested the same amount of resources into yourself to get experience to practice what you’ve learned in real life.

Think how strong you needed to be when you failed and needed to start over? Or when someone criticised you, but you needed to stay strong?

Every time you feel low about your performance or about your current position compared with others’ please remind yourself of all this investment.

Don’t continue thinking about the 10% of things in life that you’re unable to control, and instead focus on the 90% that’s completely under your influence.

Have a look at your diplomas and certificates, your successes, your whole journey and be proud of yourself.

Be proud because you have a lot to be proud of and it deserves celebration!

Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash

About the author

Tiffany Varpalotai

Tiffany Varpalotai

CTAA accredited counsellor and Human Behaviour Analyst

I’m Tiffany Varpalotai a 25 year old Hungarian woman living and working in the UK since September 2019.
I have a Psychology BSc degree (Human Behaviour Analyst) from back home, and after University started work in transportation thinking that psychology was not for me.
Later on we moved to the UK, and I started working in a different field (again), then Covid hit and we needed to rethink everything we had planned.
That’s when I realised that I actually really love, and am interested in, helping people, and I only left psychology because there were too many statistics and not enough ‘helping humans’ experience.
I found Dr. Karen E Wells’ online counsellor courses and completed 3 of them straight away.
All these courses are accredited by the CTAA International body, and connected with insurance companies to make sure all their members are doing quality work.
I set up my own private counselling practice at the beginning of 2021, focusing on individual-, couple- and body therapy counselling.
I really enjoy connecting my scientific psychology knowledge with the practical exercises I’ve learnt during my counselling studies, and I never stop looking for new methods to learn, to make sure I can provide the most suitable help for my clients.

If you are interested in working with me, please contact me by simply filling out the contact form on my website:

Follow me on:
Facebook: @TVAdvising
LinkedIn: @TVAdvising

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